Photo by Kevin Slotemaker
Dear Sir or Madam,
It is my extreme pleasure to write you with news of an exciting opportunity. The opportunity of which I speak comes by way of the Lil' Gifted Treasures (LGT) after-school program (did you catch the word play there? That's just the kind of fun we like to have here at LGT). We here, the staff at LGT, are dedicated to improving the lives of these precious children. These kids come in here with so much hope, such promise, and smiling, smiling faces. We just hate ever so much to see them dissappointed for any reason whatsoever. We are not, however, all-powerful here at LGT; we certainly can make no such claim.
Unfortunately, these kids, as of late, have had ever so much to be disappointed about. Just about nothing turned more smiles into frowns than our recent string of Disappointments. We here at LGT know that you understand that. Who hasn't had to disappoint a group of children-a group of children that you love like they were your own (even though you have no biological children and you are, in fact, be quite barren)-? We believe, however, that good luck, fortune, and Providence shine upon even the most downtrodden of souls (a category that, we can assure you, these adorable Gifted Treasures fit into). We believe that anybody, just anybody at all, can be a part of the Solution. That is, so long as the have filled out the required Proof of Financial Support form (form 001A).
This is where you, Mr. or Mrs. Moneybags, come into the picture. First, I should explain that this calling you Mr. or Mrs. Moneybags, this affectionate nick-naming, is something we do with all our friends and loved ones here at LGT. You see? You're already part of our family. We see you as the parents, the leaders, dear old Mom and/or Pop, our Fertile Parental Symbols, the breadwinners. As such we are coming to you with a request of sorts, for an allowance, really. That term seems to fit. Children often receive allowances from parents, or so we're told.
With your Pledge of Financial Support we can change the lives of these precocious Lil' children. We will gift to them all the possibilities and support typically provided by the family structure. With your financial commitment, we can turn today's Disappointments into the Solutions of tomorrow.
Thank you very much and we look forward to connecting with you.
All the best,
The Staff at LGT
This is where you, Mr. or Mrs. Moneybags, come into the picture. First, I should explain that this calling you Mr. or Mrs. Moneybags, this affectionate nick-naming, is something we do with all our friends and loved ones here at LGT. You see? You're already part of our family. We see you as the parents, the leaders, dear old Mom and/or Pop, our Fertile Parental Symbols, the breadwinners. As such we are coming to you with a request of sorts, for an allowance, really. That term seems to fit. Children often receive allowances from parents, or so we're told.
With your Pledge of Financial Support we can change the lives of these precocious Lil' children. We will gift to them all the possibilities and support typically provided by the family structure. With your financial commitment, we can turn today's Disappointments into the Solutions of tomorrow.
Thank you very much and we look forward to connecting with you.
All the best,
The Staff at LGT
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ReplyDeleteThanks for this Brian. Your letter truly did work...
ReplyDelete~Blake